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Big Boobs Karma gets fucked by gargantuan dick

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The Last Stand

Figured you poor souls have gone so long now without a porn torrent from me, when you cum it will be like a wax dart shooting out of your dicks.

Well, here’s some porn! Remember to open a window and aim at some old cunt with a walker.

Some Random Hot Chick with Big Tits get fucked

Some petite girl on vacation gets fucked

Kerry Marie, big tits masturbates

Big Mature Tits gets fucked

Right, this is it. As some of you may know, I have a certain affection with stand up comedy. Lately I’ve amassed some new stuff without sharing any of it with you (I know, I am such a bad boy). So I thought I would make it all up to you now, by sharing all that I can remember having acquired lately.

Going in Alphabetical order, with some descriptions thrown in for those who might be unfamiliar with the comedians.

Bill Maher – Victory begins at Home

Bill Maher is a political satirist and provides a lot of humorous sociopolitical commentary, though a lot of it ends up being Lewis Black rip-offs, he still has some good stuff that is genuinely hilarious and makes him definitely worth watching.

Bill Bailey:
-Part Troll
-Bewilderness
-Cosmic Jam

Bill Bailey is a cross between a talented musician and comedic genius, and a rare and brilliant and genius cross it is. Bill Bailey takes a more general approach to comedy, making fun of what can be made fun of, and throwing some music in for comedic value. While Part Troll and Bewilderness is from his era of relative sobriety, Cosmic Jam features him being influenced, at the very least artistically, but not necessarily literally, by some sort of mind altering narcotic. Part Troll being his Magnum Opus and one of the best pieces of stand up comedy ever to have existed, I particularly recommend you check it out, but give the others a fair go as well.

Dave Chapelle – Killing Them Softly

Dave Chapelle, well every one knows Dave fucking Chapelle. This is a stand up he did, which is actually pretty fucking hilarious.

Dylan Moran – Monster

For those of you unfamiliar with Dylan Moran, you are cunts. But to explain, he was the crux of the cult british TV comedy hit; “Black Books” in the role of Bernard Black, the shop owner. He is pretty much an incredibly funny guy. If you don’t like him you suck.

Eddie Izzard – Complete Collection (Seven Shows)

Definitely the funniest cross-dressing heterosexual ever to have walked the earth, Eddie Izzard re-embodies british Crazy-humor, but with subtle intellectualism thrown in. If you like Monty Python, you will fucking love this, and that alone should make it worth it for anyone to download this 7gB collection.

NOTABENE: Requires a program called PowerISO, which is found in torrent form, basically any where. I recommend isohunt.com.

Richard Pryor – 3 Shows

How could I make a Mother of All Stand Up Comedy post without the man who spawned the fucking concept, huh? You know he’s brilliant, so no descriptions are really necessary.

Ricky Gervais: Two Shows (Animals and Politics)

Ricky Gervais is the guy behind the original british version of The Office, which I never really found to be that funny, though I didn’t find the american version funny either. His stand-up though, is fucking quality if you’re like me and like really scathing politically incorrect humor, which is what he’s all about on stage. Definitely worth checking out, I laughed my ass off like I never did before.

Robin Williams Live on Broadway

Well this is a rather old show from 2002, but what are ya gonna do. It’s still a great show, and maybe some people out there haven’t seen it. Funny as all his jokes are, the funniest shit about this show is that the guy goes through like 40 bottles of water in one fucking performance.

Rowan Atkinson Live

Still one of my favorite stand up shows of all time. Rowan Atkinson in his prime and Black Adder-ish is fantastic, and just the use of the english language makes all of it fucking hilarious. Or rather, bloody hilarious.

Have you ever thought of something that would be cool for me to put up? Any kind of weird shit? Well now you can request shit. Any shit. Games, music, movies, porn, more rants, satire, anything.

All you need to do is go HERE, register and post some shit, and I shall deliver, or die trying. Or at least get some chafing on my fingers before giving up. No really, I will fucking deliver.

Other than that, I might post what shall be known as “The Mother of Stand-Up Comedy Torrent Post” during the weekend, because I’ve been watching a lot of new stuff lately and so much of it is good. So get ready for that.

Also might get some new imagery ready soonish, but it’s rather sluggish of late. I seem to have mostly exhausted the internets’ pictorial supply. But god dammit I’ll try.

GO POST YOU FAGGOTS

MAKE ME LAUGH FOR A CHANGE HOW’S THAT FOR A CHALLENGE

Due to several things, Jaywalking will ONCE AGAIN, have a forum that I hope everyone will participate in. I am currently working on the final looks of it, and it won’t really look like the site, but that doesn’t matter.

Initially there will be 1 forum, in which every thing will go. Everything and anything about anything, until the need to create different theme forums arises.

See you there, in the immediate future.

Now, some of you may notice I’ve watched some Bill Maher, and I have, but this has accumulated over an extended period of time. Well, no longer.

Lately I’ve become more and more aggravated with feminists. Not because of the feminist agenda, I’m actually fine with the feminist agenda. Condone it, even. The problem lies with self-righteous female chauvinists who, under the guise of feminism, promote their egocentric ideals and notions that one gender, more specifically THEIR gender, is superior to the opposite.

How is this different from male chauvinism, I hear you ask while your brain is starting to get an aneurysm. Well it is very simple. According to these self-righteous cunts, it’s because they have a vagina and are therefor infallible. Now I’d hate to actually come off as a male chauvinist, but this COULD be a good example of why, through out history, most women have been stereotyped as dumb irrational fucking cretins. Maybe.

Feminists ARE winning, but not in the areas that matter; not by the feminist agenda any way. Their female chauvinism works well to aggravate their counterpart and eternal nemesis: Men in power. And one thing I have always pondered is, how do they intend to overthrow an oppressing regime of “pigs” and “dogs” (by the way, cunts who use these descriptions and tack them to men are good justification for me to use the word “cunt” to describe them, before you start sending me retarded hate mail. You dumb cunts.) by aggravating them? Doesn’t the fact that they are in power suggest the use of a more subtle method?

The premise of the fight is a handful of peons starting an uprising against millions of royalty, at least that is how they make their fight out to be, the poor souls! If that is the case, are they so dumb to realize this is a premise so futile it would make the works of Ann Coulter or Noam Chomsky seem intellectual?

“Suppose truth is a woman, what then?”

I imagine that we would have to always pretend that what ever bullshit pretext was given to us by a woman, to describe a woman, like pregnancy being sexy, or that we would have no wars if women were in charge (bear in mind they will start a fucking nuclear holocaust over a pair of fucking shoes or a hand bag), would be the law, and speaking ill of them would be punishable by jail time, except for 5-7 days a month where the penalty would be death by double-castration.

But, back to my point on the lesser oppressed mass, rising up against it’s subduing slavers, perhaps more likely, this is a publicity point. Now, I’d hate to invoke Godwin’s law on the poor defenseless cunts out there, so I won’t. But it is more than likely just propaganda. Because otherwise they wouldn’t even try to pursue such ridiculous venues. Not even women are that fucking dumb.

But yes, feminists are winning. Feelings have become more important than facts. Sensitivity is more important than truth. Commitment is more important than individuality. Children are more important than people. Safety is more important than fun.

I will never understand how these fucking shitstains on the human subconscious manage to justify their batshit insane gender prejudice, if I may draw several historical similes here, racism, religious persecution, and now to make up for historical fuck-ups they think some how by repeating history, it will make things right. Sexism is fucking sexism, no matter what gender is on the receiving end. I am getting really sick of being a man, and having to apologize just for being a man.

And I think women would be far better off if they started to promote equality, instead of female superiority. Because as it stands, feminism and equality are fucking worlds apart, and it is not without reason that feminism can now be equated to the words “spastic” and “paraplegic”. Because intellectually, that’s what the feminists have become, and greedy too, greedier than all the fucking prescription drug companies, tobacco companies and Halliburton all thrown together. Intellectually spastic and money hungry hungry hippos. Which is some times literally true because Jesus Fucking Christ for a group that claim to represent women, they sure seem like they are all uglier than the 99.9% who are not as mentally handicapped as they are.

Would be OK if God was relevant, and religion was valid, because if God created womankind in HIS image, that would explain these hairy lard-assed abominations.

I suggest women who are pro-woman and anti-man to stop being sexually bitter and frustrated and get a good dick in them, and shut the fuck up. Because if you are not, I will stick a rubber phallus so far up your ass it will bump into your forehead.

Oh no wait, that was a really bad metaphor wasn’t it. You dumb cunts.

Mom-sponsored Rebels
Some may think I routinely crusade against the imminent dangers of society and establishment, that I take it upon myself to leave a bleeding smear on the zeitgeist (possibly through a visually repulsive match of shaded black garments)– belligerently spouting thinly threaded nihilistic hippy monologues about the terrible wrongs and woes of everyone except me– briefly, that I am a rebel. Some may be wrong.

It is no secret that I hold my share of atomic-grade bile against some of the more flabbergasting misdeeds of humanity at large, ready to vomit a burning spiel of obscene, if righteous, commentary on the fine topic of “what the fuck is wrong with you.” However, I harbor some potentially more volatile grapes of wrath towards those who do, probably inadvertently, their damn best to destroy any hope one may place in counter-culture and alternative lifestyles. While most outcasts and their ilk hold light interest through mere camp value– disconnected and vigilante opposition to any establishment is as relevant as the number of flies fighting over shit– I find no worse manifestation of the vapidity of occidental youth than the alarmingly present idiots who aspire to be individuals through their manifest rebellion.

For concision’s sake, let’s consider modern rebels and their achievements: hippies were steamrolled by corporations and demoted to animal rights activists, punks were silenced by a crushingly tight grip on the traditional definition of good taste and reduced to washing windshields at street corners, and more recently, organized crime gangs, both the biker and street kind, have managed to lose sight of any ideal past the imminent appeal of material possessions– and for that are pretty much the loyal hounds of occidental culture. Why, then, does rebellion appeal to these teens? Misinformation is pointless: it’s not as if those kids were looking to make an enlightened decision, anyway.

Despite their pathetic failures, rebels usually achieve something clearly enough: identity. It doesn’t matter that they are laughing stock to anyone who actually matters in the grand scheme of things, by stirring shit up and sticking boogers on the postered walls of cities, marginal groups of counter-culture manage to muster up enough attention to make at least one statement: “we’re different.”

And doesn’t that sell! It’s truly disturbing, how efficiently corporate overlords have marketed the concept and destroyed the face value of individuality with a price tag, but who cares? You little fucks are eagerly licking the filth up under the insane impression that difference equals distinction. As such, the places I mundanely frequent are sparsely populated with budding dickheads who wear x-treem hoodies and studded caps, all of which were bought with money from mommy’s purse from some hip store– its owners probably stubbornly kept in suspended animation by hysterical laughter.

Frankly, I don’t care for any of them, but the ones pulling the strings here, while no less repugnant, have at least the benefit of not being rock-eatingly stupid. Mom-sponsored rebels, I truly hope your head spontaneously caves in from the ambient air pressure.

-Valkam

I’ve spent the last few days of my vacation lately playing a lot of EVE, wand watching movies, taking some small breaks in order to play Counter-Strike 1.6 on the WC3 server I am co-admin on.

I’ve managed to watch The Simpsons Movie, which I regret doing because there are NO good cams out yet, but they are sort-of watchable (in lieu of something better to appear, I will not post the cam on my site). I have also watched one of the best movies I’ve seen in a while, Paprika, and one of the worst, Evan Almighty.

Paprika.

It’s a movie that tackles the issues of dreams and the conscious, and the borders that exist between the two. What happens if they intersect? And what happens when they propagate, overlap and multiply? What if you could see someone else’s dream. Would you want to?

The movie looks incredible, and manages to balance being funny, serious, insightful and epiphanic in nature. It is really one of the best cinematic experiences I have had in a very good while.

Torrent here (1.4gB Jap Audio Eng Hardsubs).

Evan Almighty.

Oh God where to begin. The movie is about Evan Baxter, the formerly hilarious character known from what is now apparently the crux of a movie FRANCHISE, Bruce Almighty. His news anchor days numbered, he moves on to become a senator, moves to some Washington suburbs to start political life anew with his family and pray there. One day he prays for God to help him change the world, unknowingly making him the next Noah.

So he and his family have to build an Ark, and the whole movie unfolds with tedious inevitabilities and a few cheap giggles.

The religious and moralist undertones of this movie are palpable, and noxious. Actually they aren’t even undertones, they’re quite flamboyant. Beyond the cheap gags and few good laughs, this movie is a fucking travesty. I really love Steve Carell as a comedian, but this thing was pretty crap. But some people apparently like religious blasphemy that manages to be religious propaganda all at the same time, so for that branch of people:

Torrent here (700mB dvdrip no-sub)

Enjoy.