9
Sep
It’s warm and sunny here now. It’s almost the middle of September, the sun is out, and it’s 75 degrees in Norway. And I feel weird. I’m tired, exhausted actually, but I haven’t done anything to exert myself, I’ve just read books and slept a lot. Maybe that’s it. I also packed a bunch of shit for my vacation, but considering how little I am allowed to bring on a plane, getting a bag stuffed with boxershorts and t-shirts isn’t going to make render me useless. Or at least it shouldn’t.
I’ve had this strange ennui flood over me since yesterday now, and while it happens on occasion I usually just do something like play a game of Starcraft or watch an episode of Futurama or something and I perk right up. Alternatively eat something nice. But that hasn’t helped this time.
Colbert saluted american troops yesterday, it was a hilarious show, Joe Biden’s guest performance at the start was a stroke of genius, especially considering Joe Biden did it. I didn’t think he would be smart enough to go along with it. I watched the entire show without a muscle even tingling in my face, not so much as a smirk revealed itself.
Maybe I just need a drink or something.
It’s warm and sunny in September, and I feel absolutely nothing.
I think I’ll have that drink now.
7
Sep
So on friday I’m going to Montenegro, which is a small country to the north-east of Italy for you americans out there who know nothing of shit outside your congressional fucking district, and I’m pretty excited about it. It’s like a 3 hour flight to just mediterranean baller weather on the riviera bordering Italy. I’m going with my family so that’s going to be pretty chill too, although my sister is freaking the fuck out about the plane trip. Whatever, I’ll just feed her a lot of valium or something and hope there aren’t too many small children on the flight because I will fucking kill them with my own hands if I have to sit for more than 5 minutes with some obnoxious child bawling because his cocksucker parents didn’t plan ahead for food or shit like that.
Anyway, this means there probably won’t be too many image updates for next week because I rely pretty heavily on the image uploading application I coded to do those since all gallery scripts fucking suck monkey dick, but I’ll try to make up for it by just finding other kinds of content (aka porn) for you to enjoy while I’m there because I can obviously do those from any computer.
Anyway yeah, I’ll try to keep up with image updates this week but as I said earlier it’s kinda hard to fucking do now. I’ll get started early with the porn shit though! Just look here:
Vanessa Blue’s Big Tits (check out the preview picture here)
Dolly Kumar GIANT tits on webcam (check out the preview picture here)
6
Sep
Yeah. I’m going back to school. It’s not super-sayian busy so I’ll definitely spend a lot of my time just doodling down ideas for shit to write about most of the time, and right now I’m actually thinking about translating some shit from one of our best authors and just posting it. We’ll see, probably not gonna be the biggest crowd-pleaser I’ve ever put on this site.
Outside of that, I don’t feel comfortable compiling picture galleries at school for obvious reasons. I’m working on one now though, and it should he there in a few hours. This shit is really starting to take longer and longer to do, just because I’m actually just running out of good pictures to snag off the internet (help is appreciated from the people who are actually able to communicate with me, you know who you are) so it’s going slower than what it once did. Oh well.
I also just watched a few movies this weekend: Iron Man 2, The Expendables and Robin Hood. Iron Man 2 was OK, I mean it was entertaining, nothing spectacular but it’ll keep you entertained. The Expendables was actually fucking hilarious and rocking mad dude-points for just being about kicking ass blowing shit up and grabbing the girl. There are also some undertones to remind the US what they were doing in the 60′s and 70′s in Latin America (Allende, for example) and are doing today in the middle-east, which gives huge bonus points obviously.
Robin Hood sucked. It was just boring as shit and the story was gay and they apparently hired Ed Wood from beyond the grave to direct shit. You can see tractor tracks and all kinds of dumb shit throughout the movie as they go along the countryside of whatever country it was filmed in, and it’s just a disappointing piece of shit film.
Anyway, back to picturehoarding.
4
Sep
It’s the weekend, so naturally I’m going to spend large chunks of it being drunk, recovering from being drunk. I have a crippling headache right now from too much beer, trying to quell it with massive amounts of water. Well, coca cola. But they’re about the same.
And I guess some crazy chink took hostages at the Discovery Channel headquarters to try and stop people from fucking. I don’t really know what that was about, I don’t care about the news at all really, but he looked like he needed to get laid.
Damn that's one ugly chink
Gives whole new meaning to environMENTAList I guess.
Oh hey Ramadan is almost over, which means sandniggers are almost allowed to eat again. I hereby propose you find a sandnigger who observes ramadan, and eat him before it’s too late and he gets all fatty and his fllesh becomes way too marbled. Also, you should do it before he, you know, kills you your family and everyone you know and love because he’s a retarded religious cuntbag.
Anyways, have a great weekend. I’m going back to bed to feel sorry for myself.
31
Aug
OK, so I’ve had some pretty hefty fits over the past few days over religion killing people and sending us back to the fucking stone-age, american politics bleeding into every corner of our lives, no matter where on the planet we live, bigotry, lies, the unjustifiable focus we give the state of Lindsay Lohan’s fucking prison stay instead of what your government is doing to make sure you have a roof over your head and a school for your children to go to, and how the world is generally going to shit because you, YES YOU, are all too fucking stupid and apathetic to do ANYTHING about it except slouch on the couch with a bag of doritos soaking up the latest crack-addict they’re wheeling out to audition for your attention on America’s Got Talent.
But no, I’m not going to drone on about that right now, because I have done it so much in the past few days. I’m just going to let it go, and focus on some things that ironically distract me from the miasmic state the world is in (because once you do give it the focus you thought it deserved, it dawns on you just how wrong your estimates were): Music.
More specifically, as many of you might already know, ze Metal muzak.
I keep a pretty keen eye on Metalstorm‘s listing of New Releases, and once I see something I like, I’m quick to acquire it. And lately there have been some fucking champs that have caught my eye (and probably more importantly, my ears).
There has apparently been a lot of controversy about Tristania picking up some new girl to sing for them, but since I don’t give a shit about cretinous louts or their petty gossip, I was unaware of this drama and instead chose to just judge the music by its own merits. If I cared about drama in my music I’d go to an opera or a ballet or something equally faggy and worthless. Regardless, my impression is that this is a solid piece of work that deserves attention. Here’s their official video for the song “Year of the rat”.
Tristania - Year of the rat
Granted this is far more melodic and less forceful than what typically attracts my favor, but you can’t deny this is some pretty decent beats.
Next up, I guess a return to form for me, Kataklysm’s new epic: “Heaven’s Venom”. These are more primal and basic riffs at work, riddled with my signature characteristic and most endearing trait: Misanthropy, of course. This is a bit out of their comfort zone, and might not be instantly recognizable as Kataklysm as they seem to have concentrated a bit more on groove and pacing, but some of these songs still make me really just headbang like fucking crazy, especially the first track. All of it is great, but at 2:25 it takes on a new dimension of fucking awesome.
Kataklysm - A soulless god
Next, the most pleasant surprise all year for me: Rosetta! Yes, I am a Rosetta fan as well. They’re weird for me, placing little emphasis on lyrics other than as a tool to enhance the soundscape, and being very docile in general. The thrash is there, but so toned down and refined that I’ve had several people who were initially VERY apprehensive about listening to a metal band at all tell me “this is incredibly relaxing stuff”. Their new album, “A determinism of Morality”, is a little feistier than usual, but the general tone of the band has not changed dramatically.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t find anything off the new album to entertain you with, but here’s something from one of their older albums, “Galilean Satelites”:
Rosetta - Itinérant
And lastly, a sort of guilty pleasure for me because I’d really compare them musically to myGRAIN or Sonic Syndicate. At least this band don’t have Avril Lavigne to inspire their image though, since they instead favor a very grounded down to earth swedish look. Talking about Soilwork, of course.
Soilwork has just always piqued my curiousity because they never seem consistent. I’m phrasing it like that, because although to some it is a sign of strength and creativity, to me it’s always just seemed like an inabillity to really locate and stick with a style, signalling that they might not have one. They were perilously close to In Flames for a good while, participating in the music video for Trigger in a mock fight, which the allegations of plagiarism between the two was no doubt the source of. Despite this light-hearted mockery of such allegations, listening to early In Flames and Soilwork side by side, one can’t help but notice the striking similarities.
Still, if the music’s good and all that, why give two shits about such trivialities right? Again, this new album, “The Panic Broadcast”, is very “metalcore”-esque, which is a major disincentive to many metalheads that I know, which is understandable when you consider the likes of precisely myGRAIN and Sonic Syndicate’s almost religious devotion to making metal look INCREDIBLY fucking gay and obnoxious, but for some reason it still feels distinct from it because it sounds just that little bit more grounded and visceral. There are no Avril Lavigne lookalikes playing the bass in this fucking band, I can assure you.
Soilwork - Deliverance is mine
This concludes the praise of the music that has kept me sane these past few days. You should all check it out, I promise you won’t be disappointed.
Torrents so you can check it out before you buy it!
New Rosetta
New Soilwork
New Kataklysm
New Tristania
27
Aug
By the way, thanks for the absolutely immensely awful result on the poll to the left. Makes my decision so much easier to fucking make. Like, fuck, seriously. Real helpful guys.
Anyway, since it’s easier to maintain, I’ll do filesharing sites for now.
Leanne Lovelace (preview) (download)
Holly Sampson (preview) (download)
Summer Sinn (preview) (download)
26
Aug
I just purged 60000 spam comments and trackbacks with a single button. Thank you, plugins.
Oh and I’m making some more image gallery shit things. It’ll be here once I actually accumulate enough pictures, which might not be until tomorrow (I am actually a busy man nowadays with shit to do so I can’t spend as much time as I once could on this site).
I also suggest you use the comment thing to make sure I didn’t make the settings way too nazi for people to actually use.
You can also request my personal take on things that upset you and I’ll make an effort to be as eloquent as possible dishing out some sardonic barbs about your favorite, or possibly least favorite, popular topic.
But yeah, I know this is like the 9th time in 2 years I say this, but I’m really going to try and make shit happen here again. I just don’t know what you faggots want (tits, probably, but beyond that).
Meanwhile, here’s some funny shit.
Spongebob? Is that you?
15
Sep
Norway held an election, and I almost didn’t notice it. I don’t watch TV, I don’t really move outside too much, I hate watching politicians trying, straining to string together sentences that might make sense in their own dimension or using their particular brand of lunar-logic. The only reason I noticed, and this is a true story, is because on Monday morning (yesterday), at 10am, normally you can buy beer. And that’s what I was out to do because I wanted to get drunk and go to sleep right then.
On election day, it turns out, you can’t buy beer. Apparently Norwegians before used to get good and wasted and vote for Fred Flintstone or something as a joke.
This annoyed me enough to go vote. I had nothing else to do for the rest of the day, so I might as well, I thought. This was my first time voting ever.
Now, between the Norwegian NSDAP (the ironically named “progress party”, who wants us to regress to Germany ca. 1939) and the Trotskyist loons (who wants us to regress to Russia ca. 1917, but at least don’t have a stupid contradictory name), there really isn’t any good filler material. There’s just a lot of very shitty compromises. It’s still better than a 2-party system, and still not really good enough.
Nevertheless, I voted for the lesser of something like 13-14 evils. And it felt pretty good. And right now, knowing that today is NOT election day, the clock ticking ever closer to 10am and stores that sell beer teeming with cold alcoholic beverages, I feel even better, and safe in assuming that regardless what I had done it would not have made any difference on how the country is run at all.
I will have to remember to save some beer for the next election. Maybe I’ll vote for The Autobots.
12
Sep
So I can’t even tell you I’ve had other more important shit to do right now, I just kind of forgot and got lazy. Again. It takes a pretty good deal of effort to keep this shit going you know. Anyway, I might be moving some where else soon, to the south. I’m looking at getting a new job, and my family (parts of which I didn’t even know I had) are involved. So I am hopefully moving out of this stagnant fucking shithole and moving on up. Or down, geographically speaking.
Meanwhile since I am a lazy fucktard, here’s just some shit I downloaded from rapidshare’s and found exciting/funny/erotic. Porn vids go first:
And here are some weird adult comics (no not hentai you wapanese faggot):
16
Aug
You know idiots have mastered the art of copy/paste when you start seeing addons like this lying around on the internet. I don’t know what kind of sad, depraved, cretinous louts would actually use this addon, but it makes me sad just knowing they exist.
16
Jul
Lately everything has gone into vacation-mode, including me, and a lot of my friends. This has involved a lot of joyful reunions, with the beverage most fitting for a rare encounter with merry men you used to know in the setting northern sun.
Which as it turns out is anything with alcohol in it, accompanied by as little food as you think you can survive with. So, I’ve been hurting pretty badly for a good few days now and decided I’d rather not do anything at all, maybe not even get out of bed. As a result I’ve been drinking, showering, and sleeping, exclusively now for like a week. I’m starting to get kind of peckish, and I must have watched the third season of Black Adder more times than people have seen Michael Jackson fucking music videos this last few weeks.
And now, I’m going to visit my relatives in the south. Probably going to continue getting drunk there too. I’ll be back in 2 weeks. Probably.
30
Jun
So for the past week all I’ve been doing is getting drunk as shit, fucking around with linux, and playing EvE online. It was strangely satisfying getting linux to do what I wanted it to, which was play my MMO games (WoW and EvE right now), run .NET framework apps (because I’m a .NET programmer), and still do all the other shit windows could do. I just got so fucking sick of my Windows getting bogged down with crap every time I ventured onto a torrent site for porn or games or what have you.
So now I have Wine, Mono, Compiz, PulseAudio, Skype, Ventrilo, nVidia’s X-Server, all that shit working properly, it’s looking pretty sharp. I’m especially impressed with Compiz being able to keep my EvE at 200fps when I’m flipping the cube around. It’s not giving me a lot of practical additions but hot damn it looks pretty fucking cool.
And to my credit for most of the time while I was doing all this shit I was still posting here, with a light sabbatical this weekend to get some actual serious drinking in, not just this 6 beers a day hobby shit.
I will admit I’m still feeling the aftermath of that somewhat, and I’m scouring the net for shit to post that would serve a purpose, even if that purpose is just to give you cunts a boner, and I admit I’m failing right now because I am so exhausted. I’ll put the usual image post together in a minute though, and maybe find some porn to post or something.
If any of you cunts could leave a comment or post on the forum telling me about shit you’d like more of that I have posted before, or never posted at all, that would be cool, because I’m running out of ideas.
With the San Francisco Gay Pride Parade 2009 just under a week away now, the time once again for me to question the way gays solicit the idea of equality from us. This has been an ongoing struggle for me, both with myself, and with others. Some of my gay friends think the pride parade is a travesty, and a really good way to undermine the goal of gay rights activism.
“Ask one of the participants if they would give a damn if a bunch of straight people put on gaudy neon-colored latex, and marched down mainstreet for father’s day, or any other benign cause”.
They wouldn’t. But they would probably go “Jesus christ, those guys look pretty stupid”.
They’re of course welcome to their parade, but they’re fooling themselves if they think people come to watch for reasons beyond the spectacle of men and women making a conscious effort to dress and look as retarded as humanly possible. This isn’t calling attention to the plight of homosexuals, it’s just calling attention. Some have said “it creates awareness”. Awareness of what? Gay people dress like people in German bondage movies?
This doesn’t create awareness of anything. And “it creates awareness” has become possibly the emptiest phrase in the English language. Everyone knows homosexuals exist, absolutely everyone. Everyone knows they have problems. I’m extremely sure that putting on a stupid costume and sitting on a float shaped like a giant papier-mâché penis is not going to do anything to solve those problems. If this is putting a face on the issue, and making gay people look more like people, I’d suggest a bunch of different faces, and a close re-examination of what other people look like. Most of them aren’t wearing bright pink leather vests, and if they are, they’re shunned by everyone, regardless of them being straight or not.
I’m just getting so fucking tired of the “have your cake and eat it too, then have another cake because of the suffering” shit all of them seem to pull, and the fact that they are just as tunnel-visioned and self-centered as anyone else who thinks that because life is not a Disney movie, that means they are being fucking oppressed by someone. Life sucks, life is a series of unrelenting crushing disappointments, life is a spiritless and heartless endeavor.
“Oh but that’s not what gay pride parade is about, it’s just about being gay and proud!”
Fine, that I can live with. Just don’t go acting like it’s something you need, or something that is necessary to further your cause, because it will not, and does not, make one iota of difference.
Everybody loves to see a clown wear rainbow colored baggy pants and get a pie in his face, but that only means that when a crowd starts to gather, they’re there to see this clown dress awkwardly and get pelted with pies. It doesn’t detract from his success as a clown, but see how many people stay if he starts holding a speech about his difficult childhood.
20
Jun
I’ve been struck with a rather saddening realization lately, one that has deepened my sense of despair, if possible, even further than I previously imagined possible. And that realization is, that this current revitalization of my site has encompassed, mainly, the posting of pornography and pictures containing cheap laughs, and none of my trademark wit that so many have come to grow fond of, that is if you disregard my half-assed attempt to make fun of a gaudy pop band that makes earwax made of razors seem like a pretty pleasant natural occurrence.
I posted the cheap laughs and pornography because I knew it would attract a huge number of people looking for cheap laughs and pornography. Maybe 1 or 2 semi-intelligent people would saunter in as well, semi-intelligent people not being immune to cheap laughs and pornography just by virtue of having a brain. I mean, come on, we’re all still people.
So I thought, is this what it feels like to be an attention whore? Because I’ve just been soliciting the visits of the scum of the earth, in the hopes that maybe, just maybe, they would take the time to listen to the stupid shit I have to say about how much I hate them. It’s not an easy sell, asking people to set some time aside so you can berate them for no specific reason.
I guess that’s why I some times sneak some kind of thought-provoking images into my galleries of weirdness, because I know if there’s too many letters people will be easily deterred and start flailing towards the “Stumble!” button, or just going for a fresh google search to find a site that can just give them videos of girls with tits bigger than a basketball, without ads, and without telling them what sad sacks of shit they are, preferably this fucking minute. Well, usually I’m too lazy to do anything else, but come on, I am doing this for myself really, I’m not making any money off of it, no ads, nothing. I just do this to vent about what a dark and shitty fucked up place the world is right now, though glancing at my picture galleries and the average internet browsing cunt this is probably a point well and truly soaring above your fucking heads like the Hindenburg, and right now I’m the guy with the hand-held acetylene torch.
So, while I patronize you craven cunts and wallow in self-pity over the fact that my ego seriously doesn’t get enough satisfaction from just pumping out gore and pornography, I want you not to worry. I may have strayed from the path earlier, and given up completely for a little while, but I’ll stick by it for a little while longer. I’ll just make sure to, at appropriate intervals, call you all unappreciative fuckers, and keep punishing you by sneaking in pictures of cats being burned alive, or posting Taylor Swift music videos. Then we’ll see who cries themselves to sleep, you fucking bastards. Then we’ll see.
18
Jun
Patched the CMS, working on getting a new look on this ugly mother fucker. Things will be a bit wonky looking for a while during the time I fix this shit. Bear with me please.
12
Mar
That’s all I’m going to say, really.
15
Dec
Lately I’ve endeavored to rid my self of trite and tawdry female acquaintances. I don’t know especially why, I guess I just felt the time had come where they answer for their foolishness. So, I conjured the suspiciously terse and to the point slogan on this Norwegian equivalent of MySpace: “You can have your International Woman Day, because the rest of the year is ours”.
Needless to say this endeavor did not quickly become opulent with members, though I did not either receive the amount of hate mail I had hoped for, not even an admonition of the imminent flood of female militias for touching on the politically incorrect notion that women are somehow less worth than men.
Of course the politically correct thing nowadays is to point out how women are superior, as if that is some how more endorsing of equality, when it only stands as an obelisk to show how feeble-minded some women truly are, and is not a laudable fucking utterance or even worthy of my contemplation.
Any way, with the fickle nature of female emotions being as they are, some have started to act very strange on me. I decided to return in favor by acting severely emotionally crippled, and taking any statement that could contain a negative duality, blowing it completely out of proportion and pretend a furious riot, blocking them from my MSN for a small amount of time.
Well this all went above their heads, so I’ll not attempt it again. How ever, I think it’s a fair assumption that they’ll at least keep their distance from me now, and keep their ridiculous emotionally overloaded antics all to themselves.
Some times, I really fucking hate you cunts. I really do.
10
Dec
In the context of the forum having been remade and upgraded and fuck knows what, I will hold a little contest.
After 100 people have signed up, I will put all the names in adigital hat (a string array in an application) and 5 names will be picked out by me personally (or at least the random number generator) to help moderate the forum.
So if you’re wanting to create the lulz, and maintain the lulz, SIGN UP HERE FOR FUCKS SAKE
8
Dec
OK so I have had a lot of complaints, and tried for a while to fix the registration of the forum. After installing some mods, registration fucked up, and would not be reverted by any measure. So I took the liberty to install phpbb3RC8, because it looks a lot better any way.
Unfortunately, that means you all have to re-register. But at least that is a possibility now.
In the future I will disable comments on my site, and make all comments pertaining to the site a matter of forum posting. Link is directly to the left if this post right now, I’m sure you can see it, but if you can’t due to some ocular deficiency, I would normally say fuck you and your crappy inferior eyes, but I’m in a good mood right now so.
7
Dec
Fuck you guys, I’ve been busy.
Anyway, it’s nearing christmas, whoop dee doo. I fucking hate the holidays, gotta give away free shit to people I never even meet, or like, and spend the time I could have spent getting relaxed and drunk off my ass, with relatives that will be utterly disappointed when I give them the same thing I gave them last year: Money. Why can’t they just understand that I don’t give a shit.
Anyway, I’ve got some things to recommend to all of you: First of all, read Christopher Hitchens’ book, “God is Not Great“, or alternatively follow that link to have it read to you by the author himself (I heartily recommend you do), and you might also want to see the following 4 youtube clips where he wages battle in the name of reason:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ip2nw0NWUW4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=shPRAN2elzY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=prRTtM2GZIc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9P-x3pEejL8
Secondly get the following two games:
I fucking came. No really, I orgasmed, and then I asked a girl the next day why she can’t perform as well as this game. That’s right, I made her feel more inept at sexual pleasuring than a video game. And she didn’t like it, not one bit. Either way, the game does have some flaws, but they are minor and excusable, save the ending which had me nearly tear the computer a new one. The game looks fucking stunning, and most people won’t have to worry about the computer not running it, since the engine is really scalable and even at medium settings it looks fucking gorgeous. Definitely one I like.
Kane & Lynch enters with 2 convicted felons on death row on their way to be executed. Kane is a former mercenary, who is sprung free to recover some money for a… well notoriously criminal organization that feels he owes them. A lot. A really fucking lot. They set Lynch, who unbeknownst to Kane is a pill popping sadistic sick-puppy psycho with SEVERE schizophrenia, to guard him. The plot is fucking nasty, the characters (especially lynch), are so rotten and depraved, that you just have to like them, and excuse a good bunch of game play issues because the plot really drives this thing. It really does, fuck gamespot or who ever kind of rainbow and kittens faggot gave this game a bad review. The gameplay aside, it’s a fucking awesome game, and if you take the game play into consideration, it’s still really fucking good. So up yours, gamecock.