3

Sep

by jay

Site won’t go down but there probably won’t be any new content until the move is complete. Shouldn’t take super-long maybe few hours.

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I love being funny and clever.
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As the years trod on towards the failure of the universes thermomechanical functions, closely accompanied by our inevitable doom, it might be worth a moment of our time to think about what we’re doing with it. Our time, that is. It might be interesting to note some things of importance, and contrast them with things that aren’t important at all, to create some perspective.

Christina Aguilera

“So, where’s the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?”

You see, I often find that the less important something is, the more attention we are willing to devote to it. At least that seems to be the trend, since we pour our love onto insignificant pieces of shit like Brad and Angelina’s millionth adopted child or spend countless hours reading up on the personal life and work of Lindsay Lohan and Paris fucking Hilton. Have they done drugs? Yes, mystery solved now move the fuck on people.

What’s frustrating is that there is virtually a library of knowledge available and digested every day by people about these things that do not matter, as opposed to the things that do matter. What did your congressman last vote on? That doesn’t even take long to find out, but it is less readily available knowledge because it doesn’t capture the imagination, it doesn’t ensorcell the money bags behind the TV screens shoving brand name snacks and carbonated beverages down their fucking throats. Because the ways our lives are governed, and the way the world works, isn’t as interesting to people as watching Lindsay Lohan cry in court.

“Fiction writing is great. You can make up almost anything.”

Ivana Trump

Among the lowest grossing media productions to ever be made are scientific and socio-political documentaries. Very few people watch them, except on History Channel or Discovery when nothing else is on. Who needs to know how a black hole works, or how it isn’t actually a hole at all, when we can go see The Expendables!

This as you might have guessed saddens me greatly. What’s bigger and scarier than a black hole? And they’re also the key to understanding the universe around us, so it should be easy to get people to watch this documentary:

BBC Horizons: Who's afraid of a big black hole?

It turns out people are difficult to keep in your grip. If it’s significant, we ignore it. If it’s trivial, we can’t get enough of it. And people get dumber, and dumber, until the dumb people are actually the ones who run our countries, ruining our economy, sending jobs overseas or simply making them magically disappear.

Dan Quayle

“The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation’s history. I mean in this century’s history. But we all lived in this century. I didn’t live in this century.”

Now our money’s worthless, there’s a job shortage the likes of which has not been seen since the great depression, when last private businesses and banking interests got free reign to do what ever the fuck they wanted, when will we start noticing? When are we going to start checking in on what our guys in office are actually doing with our fucking time? We only have so much of it, you won’t live forever, and when you die there is now a very real chance the only legacy you’re leaving behind is “the guys who were too stupid to notice an entire country, an entire society, was usurped from under their feet by 1% of the population” and that it was done entirely through prop comedy distraction. All it took was a fucking remote control and something that wasn’t even scripted, just dumbasses on TV, and you didn’t even notice you were being fucked.

“I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don’t always agree with them”

George Bush

Stop and check if there’s a politician’s dick up your ass right now. And after you do, get enlightened. I’m not going to ask you to read a book, I’m trying to remain realistic after all. But watch a documentary, please. If you’re going to be governed by commercial programming and media conglomerates anyway, check out one of the only sources of gripping reality still available to us, because trust me, Jersey Shore is neither gripping nor real.

Topdocumentaryfilms.com: Documentary Streams, watch documentaries online completely free!

You owe it to your self, and your legacy, and the ones who follow us, to stop being stupid. There are no excuses.

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1

Sep

by jay

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31

Aug

by jay

OK, so I’ve had some pretty hefty fits over the past few days over religion killing people and sending us back to the fucking stone-age, american politics bleeding into every corner of our lives, no matter where on the planet we live, bigotry, lies, the unjustifiable focus we give the state of Lindsay Lohan’s fucking prison stay instead of what your government is doing to make sure you have a roof over your head and a school for your children to go to, and how the world is generally going to shit because you, YES YOU, are all too fucking stupid and apathetic to do ANYTHING about it except slouch on the couch with a bag of doritos soaking up the latest crack-addict they’re wheeling out to audition for your attention on America’s Got Talent.

But no, I’m not going to drone on about that right now, because I have done it so much in the past few days. I’m just going to let it go, and focus on some things that ironically distract me from the miasmic state the world is in (because once you do give it the focus you thought it deserved, it dawns on you just how wrong your estimates were): Music.

More specifically, as many of you might already know, ze Metal muzak.

I keep a pretty keen eye on Metalstorm‘s listing of New Releases, and once I see something I like, I’m quick to acquire it. And lately there have been some fucking champs that have caught my eye (and probably more importantly, my ears).

There has apparently been a lot of controversy about Tristania picking up some new girl to sing for them, but since I don’t give a shit about cretinous louts or their petty gossip, I was unaware of this drama and instead chose to just judge the music by its own merits. If I cared about drama in my music I’d go to an opera or a ballet or something equally faggy and worthless. Regardless, my impression is that this is a solid piece of work that deserves attention. Here’s their official video for the song “Year of the rat”.

Tristania - Year of the rat

Granted this is far more melodic and less forceful than what typically attracts my favor, but you can’t deny this is some pretty decent beats.

Next up, I guess a return to form for me, Kataklysm’s new epic: “Heaven’s Venom”. These are more primal and basic riffs at work, riddled with my signature characteristic and most endearing trait: Misanthropy, of course. This is a bit out of their comfort zone, and might not be instantly recognizable as Kataklysm as they seem to have concentrated a bit more on groove and pacing, but some of these songs still make me really just headbang like fucking crazy, especially the first track. All of it is great, but at 2:25 it takes on a new dimension of fucking awesome.

Kataklysm - A soulless god

Next, the most pleasant surprise all year for me: Rosetta! Yes, I am a Rosetta fan as well. They’re weird for me, placing little emphasis on lyrics other than as a tool to enhance the soundscape, and being very docile in general. The thrash is there, but so toned down and refined that I’ve had several people who were initially VERY apprehensive about listening to a metal band at all tell me “this is incredibly relaxing stuff”. Their new album, “A determinism of Morality”, is a little feistier than usual, but the general tone of the band has not changed dramatically.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t find anything off the new album to entertain you with, but here’s something from one of their older albums, “Galilean Satelites”:

Rosetta - Itinérant

And lastly, a sort of guilty pleasure for me because I’d really compare them musically to myGRAIN or Sonic Syndicate. At least this band don’t have Avril Lavigne to inspire their image though, since they instead favor a very grounded down to earth swedish look. Talking about Soilwork, of course.

Soilwork has just always piqued my curiousity because they never seem consistent. I’m phrasing it like that, because although to some it is a sign of strength and creativity, to me it’s always just seemed like an inabillity to really locate and stick with a style, signalling that they might not have one. They were perilously close to In Flames for a good while, participating in the music video for Trigger in a mock fight, which the allegations of plagiarism between the two was no doubt the source of. Despite this light-hearted mockery of such allegations, listening to early In Flames and Soilwork side by side, one can’t help but notice the striking similarities.

Still, if the music’s good and all that, why give two shits about such trivialities right? Again, this new album, “The Panic Broadcast”, is very “metalcore”-esque, which is a major disincentive to many metalheads that I know, which is understandable when you consider the likes of precisely myGRAIN and Sonic Syndicate’s almost religious devotion to making metal look INCREDIBLY fucking gay and obnoxious, but for some reason it still feels distinct from it because it sounds just that little bit more grounded and visceral. There are no Avril Lavigne lookalikes playing the bass in this fucking band, I can assure you.

Soilwork - Deliverance is mine

This concludes the praise of the music that has kept me sane these past few days. You should all check it out, I promise you won’t be disappointed.

Torrents so you can check it out before you buy it!

New Rosetta
New Soilwork
New Kataklysm
New Tristania

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So the muslim apes are at it again. Stoning women in Iran over alleged adultery. I figured I’ve made enough of a mockery of the christian pedophiles for a while and that my focus needs to shift over to all the other mass-delusions going on in the world.

So, some woman in Iran is charged with adultery, sentenced to death by stoning since muslims are all fucking barbaric baboons. Carla Bruni (and others) take offence to this, and is promptly called a prostitute.

©Sky News

Now, the news make light of this, after all Carla Bruni’s not going to get stoned since she’s not subject to the laws of the land. Right, and Salman Rushdie is completely safe. I’m quite serious about this, these fucking towelheaded monkeys will see any description falling under the umbrella of impiety according to muslim faith as a green light to do what ever the fuck they want. They are retards, and they are dangerous, and they will kill people over this.

All aboard the train to loonyville

The moderate muslim community is a myth, this is what they are, this is what they want.

I’ve just had enough of being tolerant to these intolerant, bigotted, narrowminded, hypocritical, not to mention murderous fucking cunts. Let’s just introduce all the jews and christians and muslims to each other in a large, healthy free for all where they can settle their differences like the gladiators of Rome did so they get an outlet for their viciousness and desire to kill every living thing that doesn’t conform to the bullshit they believe in, while we secular people get a chance to be safe and stay sane. Once they are done, free moralburgers for everyone. The lesson is not to bite over more than you can chew.

Eat a dick, muslims. Eat a dick.

Bang bang Baghdad Boy

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30

Aug

by jay

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29

Aug

by jay

I think that’s probably the headline with the highest pun density per letter on the internet right now.

Anyway, you can say what you want about Glenn Beck, but if what you’re wanting to say doesn’t include “Jesus Christ what a globulous intellectually bankrupt FUCKING fraud this clown is”, then you probably need to take a good hard look in the mirror, punch that mirror, grab the sharpest fragment that lands on the floor shortly after you punched the mirror, and stab yourself in the fucking eye.

Now, Olbermann is kind of obnoxious in his own way, but his arrogance is at least backed up by something (the ability to spell, for one), and he has a sense of humor about himself, like when Ben Affleck made him a punchline. I don’t particularly agree with Olbermann on a lot of things, but some common ground we share is the fact that Glenn Beck is a blithering idiot with a severe case of verbal diahrrea.

Olbermann tears Beck a new one

Americans need to stop and think for a moment. Not just about this, in general. Get your fingers out of the fucking bag of cheetos, go to a library and pick up a fucking book, learn why Glenn Beck’s latest crusade is the most vile and hateful distortion of truth your country has seen in 30 years. If you are a republican, read up on your own idols, what Reagan and Nixon actually advocated in terms of policy, and realize that they’d be (and are) ashamed to be associated with what their old party stands for today. Just try it, just for a little bit, to learn the facts for yourself instead of having it filtered through the ignominious hopeless skulls of inferior minds like the talking heads on CNN and FOX and MSNBC for that matter. Truth matters enough that it necessitates SOME fucking effort on your part. You can’t just sit this one out and trust these people, you just can’t.

You’re being lied to by everyone. Everybody lies. Get angry about that, and seek to correct them.

You've got to get mad.

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This is where I get dull and personal for a while. Fuck you, it’s my site.

I’ve been trying to find some sustainable and self-repleneshing form of entertainment while I wait for school to really start back up again, because I’m a student again now, and this site is one such form of outlet, most notably picked up again by me because all other forms have pretty much failed to keep me busy for very long.

World of Warcraft takes up a small chunk of my life, but I only play maybe 8 hours a week of that now. I tried Starcraft 2, which was fun to begin with, but it really gets pretty repetitive after a while, just building the same order pretty much every time in order to force your opponent to do X because you did Y etc. I tried downloading some single player games, like Singularity, which was kinda crap, Toy Story 3 which was kinda infantile (well I guess I should have seen that one coming), and Sniper: Ghost Warrior which I’ll get to later.

I tried keeping up with current affairs in the US, which are making me both laugh and cry as I watch Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Bill Maher and David Cross rip the conservative retards a new one all over their respective acts.

HOW DARE YOU!

And you just don’t know what to do about it all, so I retreat and just try to digest it all for a while before I resort to escapism like we all do. And I started to play this Sniper game. And it actually made me angrier than all the debates raging about any subject so far.

This is a game by a polish company called City Interactive. Many, I’m sure, were thrilled when they heard that someone was making a game dedicated to hiding in the bushes and fucking making skulls blow up from miles and miles away as the lonely sniper. When I hear the word “sniper”, I kind of get images in my head of a misanthropic cunt who chainsmokes and grins like a motherfucker every time he sees a cranium shatter in the scope of his rifle, and that appeals to me on a very personal level for some reason.

Unfortunately, it becomes very clear the moment you enter the game in “Ultra” setting that you’re dealing with something from behind the iron curtain, although rather uncharacteristically for something from the old Soviet, it’s so riddled with compromise it’s literally seeping from every pore. You don’t so much play a sniper as you play John Rambo’s retarded cousin. It’s basically the same circumstance, with a lot of enemies, and FAR less range than you’d really prefer as a sniper, and a gun that fires 1 round at a time. I somehow suspect that if this game did give you any range or proper sniper cover, you’d be armed with a sawed off shotgun just to completely convince you how ass backwards the game is.

I was pretty upset at the graphics engine, obviously. It’s just bad. Crysis came out in 2007, and this came out now. This game looks like a relic from at least 2004, it’s just horrible. And the landscapes try to borrow heavily from Crysis or Just Cause 2 type scenery, but this really makes sniping an issue, because some foliage fetishist basically blocked every enemy from view and the minute you right click to scope with your rifle, you’re greeted with a blob of green where ever you turn.

I fucking hated this game, don’t buy it, don’t even download it illegally, it’s the most horrible shit I’ve played in a long long time.

By the way, you should all check out David Cross’ show “Bigger and Blackerer”, and Bill Maher’s “But I’m not wrong”, as seen here on torrent sites:

David Cross: Bigger and Blacker(er)

Bill Maher: But I’m not wrong

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28

Aug

by jay

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27

Aug

by jay

By the way, thanks for the absolutely immensely awful result on the poll to the left. Makes my decision so much easier to fucking make. Like, fuck, seriously. Real helpful guys.

Anyway, since it’s easier to maintain, I’ll do filesharing sites for now.

Leanne Lovelace (preview) (download)

Holly Sampson (preview) (download)

Summer Sinn (preview) (download)

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27

Aug

by jay

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26

Aug

by jay

I just purged 60000 spam comments and trackbacks with a single button. Thank you, plugins.

Oh and I’m making some more image gallery shit things. It’ll be here once I actually accumulate enough pictures, which might not be until tomorrow (I am actually a busy man nowadays with shit to do so I can’t spend as much time as I once could on this site).

I also suggest you use the comment thing to make sure I didn’t make the settings way too nazi for people to actually use.

You can also request my personal take on things that upset you and I’ll make an effort to be as eloquent as possible dishing out some sardonic barbs about your favorite, or possibly least favorite, popular topic.

But yeah, I know this is like the 9th time in 2 years I say this, but I’m really going to try and make shit happen here again. I just don’t know what you faggots want (tits, probably, but beyond that).

Meanwhile, here’s some funny shit.

Spongebob? Is that you?

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19

Jul

by jay

So explain this to me.

AWWWW HOW NIIIIIICE

AWWWWWWWW

How is this beautiful? Reality check:

OH GOD WHAT THE-- oh wait fffffuuuu

EWWWWWWWaaaait a minute

Notice how not beautiful a huge ass gut is in this picture for apparently completely arbitrary reasons.

Next person who comes up to me saying how pregnant women are beautiful is getting fucking stabbed in the eye.

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17

May

by jay

Today my heart is broken, Ronnie passed away at 7:45am 16th May. Many, many friends and family were able to say their private good-byes before he peacefully passed away. Ronnie knew how much he was loved by all. We so appreciate the love and support that you have all given us. Please give us a few days of privacy to deal with this terrible loss. Please know he loved you all and his music will live on forever.

- Wendy Dio

There's a kickass party in hell tonight

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Fuck the motherfucker, fuck the motherfucker,
Fuck the motherfucker hes a fucking motherfucker.
Fuck the motherfucker, fuck the fucking fucker,
Fuck the motherfucker hes a total fucking fucker
Fuck the motherfucker, fuck the motherfucker,
Fuck the mother fucker, fuck him, fuck the motherfucker.
Fuck the motherfucker, fuck the motherfucking pope.

Fuck the motherfucker, and fuck you motherfucker
If you think that motherfucker is sacred.
If you cover for another motherfucker whos a kiddy-fucker,
Fuck you, youre no better than the motherfucking rapist.
And if you dont like the swearing that this motherfucker forced from me
And reckon it shows moral or intellectual paucity
Then fuck you motherfucker, this is language one employs
When one is fucking cross about fuckers fucking boys

I dont give a fuck if calling the pope a motherfucker
Means you unthinkingly brand me an unthinking apostate.
This has nowt to do with other fucking godly motherfuckers
Im not interested right now in fucking scriptural debate.
There are other fucking songs and there are other fucking ways,
Ill be a religious apologist on other fucking days,
But the fact remains if you protect a SINGLE kiddy fucker
Then Pope or Prince or Plumber, youre a fucking mother fucker.

See I dont give a fuck what any other motherfucker
Believes about Jesus and his motherfucking mother.
Ive no problem with the spiritual beliefs of all these fuckers
While those beliefs dont impact on the happiness of others,
But if you build your church on claims of fucking moral authority
And with threats of hell impose it on others in society,
Then you, you motherfuckers, can expect some fucking wrath
When it turns out youve been fucking us in our motherfucking asses.

So fuck the motherfucker, and fuck you motherfucker
If youre still a motherfucking papist.
If he covered for a single motherfucker whos a kiddy-fucker,
Fuck the motherfucker, hes as evil as the rapist.
And if you look into your motherfucking heart and tell me true
If this motherfucking stupid fucking song offended you,
With its filthy fucking language and its fucking direspect,
If it made you feel angry, go ahead and write a letter,
But if you find me more offensive than the fucking possibility
The pope protected priests when they were getting fucking fiddly
Then listen to me motherfucker – this here is a fact,
You are just as morally misguided as that motherfucking,
Power-hungry, self-aggrandized bigot in the stupid fucking hat.

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OK I’m just gonna link to my friends forum instead now cos it is a version that has captcha when you register so no fucking spam bots can fucking get in it.

Jesus how fucking complicated shit needs to be.

MEGATARD SYMPOSIUM

Also I may or may not do shit here again. Soonish.

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15

Sep

by jay

Norway held an election, and I almost didn’t notice it. I don’t watch TV, I don’t really move outside too much, I hate watching politicians trying, straining to string together sentences that might make sense in their own dimension or using their particular brand of lunar-logic. The only reason I noticed, and this is a true story, is because on Monday morning (yesterday), at 10am, normally you can buy beer. And that’s what I was out to do because I wanted to get drunk and go to sleep right then.

On election day, it turns out, you can’t buy beer. Apparently Norwegians before used to get good and wasted and vote for Fred Flintstone or something as a joke.

This annoyed me enough to go vote. I had nothing else to do for the rest of the day, so I might as well, I thought. This was my first time voting ever.

Now, between the Norwegian NSDAP (the ironically named “progress party”, who wants us to regress to Germany ca. 1939) and the Trotskyist loons (who wants us to regress to Russia ca. 1917, but at least don’t have a stupid contradictory name), there really isn’t any good filler material. There’s just a lot of very shitty compromises. It’s still better than a 2-party system, and still not really good enough.

Nevertheless, I voted for the lesser of something like 13-14 evils. And it felt pretty good. And right now, knowing that today is NOT election day, the clock ticking ever closer to 10am and stores that sell beer teeming with cold alcoholic beverages, I feel even better, and safe in assuming that regardless what I had done it would not have made any difference on how the country is run at all.

I will have to remember to save some beer for the next election. Maybe I’ll vote for The Autobots.

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13

Sep

by jay

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